Dear Apelord,

Who are you and where do you come from?

Curious in Caracao

Apelord Responds:

My Most Enlightened Curious,

Your question does not address the deep mystical threads in which our lives are entwined, as most questions to Apelord do. Nevertheless, I sense that the answer will provide the spiritual salve that you are too afraid to seek openly.

To answer your question of where I come from, we must transcend the mundane details of my provenence, and instead concentrate on the origin of the spark of life that has led to the entity presented before you as Apelord. Indeed, Apelord "was" and "is" well before his birth on Ketegat IV.

While some may term Apelord "alien," and others believe him to be the result of clumsily re-touched photos, only this we may say with any sense of cosmic accuracy: "Apelord is. Apelord was. Apelord will be. Apelord can psychically determine your credit card numbers."

Apelord hopes that this answer has found a place in the scaffolding of your spiritual infrastructure.

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