The World Wide Web is a vast repository of unmitigated evil, capable of casting down your spiritual well-being and filling your soul with septic energy. Nevertheless, Apelord occasionally uncovers web sites that transcend the ordinary, shining out like shafts of pure psychic light from the darkness of chaos. Apelord recommends only the finest sites that offer the greatest wisdom. Begin your exploration of the web here, and let Apelord be your guide.


The Apelord Recommends Archives
Timmy Big Hands
Blue Brethren
Brang
 

Timmy Big Hands

There are many reasons to be grateful for the existence of Minnesota, from its lush rain forests, teeming with wildlife, to its quaint fishing villages nestled in the long, picturesque shores of its warm southern coast. (Or something. Apelord has not actually visited, that he can recall.) No less astounding is the state's contribution to the spiritual wellbeing of humanity, and no better example of this exists than Timmy Big Hands.

Visit. Ponder. Purchase merchandise (tell them Apelord sent you; it will mean nothing to them). Enjoy.

Update: Alas, Timmy Big Hands has passed into the netherworld (or something). Apelord forsaw this happenstance, of course, but felt it was better to highlight the site's brief flicker of existence than to reveal the depressing future (he does this a lot, you understand). Rejoice, though, for there are still Minnesotans on the web: Michael J. Nelson and Kevin Murphy await your electronic patronage.


Blue Brethren

If you have lost faith in humanity, there is an alternative.

The Blue Brethren is a web site that clearly transcends the ordinary. It goes so far beyond ordinary, in fact, that it is very difficult to determine exactly what it is. Visit this site. You will learn something about life; something about yourself; and, dare I say, something about the effects of smoking pillow-stuffing.

NOTE: Since this recommendation was originally posted, Blue Brethren has shuffled off this (im)mortal coil. The link now leads to a research and technology company. Perhaps this is part of Brother Blue's mysterious master plan for world domination. We can only hope.

ADDITIONAL NOTE: Since the previous note was originally posted, the research and technology company squatting at the Blue Brethren domain has apparently moved on to research on different, more ethereal plane. The address now points to an "Under Construction" notification provided in many different languages, but sadly not in Brother Blue's native tongue (Martian, one assumes). Still, it is clearly cause for hope, for aren't we all "Under Construction"? Or something?

ADDITIONAL ADDITIONAL NOTE: Since the previous note was published, a somewhat faceless web portal has decided to capitalize on the torrents of web traffic Apelord.com sends to that domain. Sadly, aside from the plainness and vague anonymity of the site, it exhibits none of the bizarre character of the original Blue Brethren. Perhaps all is not lost, however, if one takes the effort to translate the site this wise. One hopes that somewhere (under heavy sedation and physical restraints), Brother Blue is smiling.



Brang

Are you seeking spiritual fulfilment? If you are prepared to embark upon a mystical journey of self-discovery and psychic enlightenment, Apelord highly recommends you begin your exploration with Brang.

Meditate carefully on this site. It has answers to questions you never knew you had.

"Without nurturing, the mind becomes a vessel empty of spirit. Begin filling your vessel, for though it may run dry, it can never run over." -- Apelord, Alien Psychic Astrologer
 


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